I, like most of us, need “me time”. What do you do when you literally can't find any? I know I know, you have to MAKE time for yourself. Here's my dilemma, and I'm sure most of you feel the same way:
You wake up in the morning to the sound of your baby chatting and/or crying in their crib, your in your Pejays, go get the baby, rush downstairs after changing diaper through cries and screams, go get a bottle ready. You almost stumble over most of the toys that are laying on the ground to « plug » your baby with milk so she will stop, in fear of making too much noise so the older one doesn't wake up. Baby in arms devouring the bottle, too late, he's calling your name from the top of the stairs cause he has to go pee. « OK honey, just use the bathroom. Mommy will be up in a minute to help you out » « But it's dark in there and I'm scared... ». Put baby down, remove bottle and full blown screech. Run upstairs, turn on the light, fidget with the « oh so cute » one piece pejays he's wearing (remove one leg and the other), and the flood gates open, on the floor. He starts crying cause he peed himself and you weren't fast enough getting him on the seat. Baby screams louder... Run to the bedroom, get new underwear and clothes, dress the kid. Run downstairs and « plug » baby again....
Baby done, oldest one wants breakfast. Make breakfast. Clean up mess on the table, the chair, the floor, and the clothes. Baby's crying, again. Go change poop diaper. Baby likes to wiggle, isn't it cute she's starting to roll over :-) and the poop goes with it. She's laughing, your sweating, and your oldest is asking you to transform his transformer back to a plane. Dress baby (with new clothes), brush oldest teeth. Run downstairs cause you can smell the toasts burning (you know the ones you just made for yourself...). Put toast in the garbage can, there goes your breakfast cause your oldest one wants to watch a movie. « Just wait a little minute, go play with some toys » and tantrum, cause one minute is too long to wait for a 3 year old. Bring him to room, he wasn't nice when he hit you cause you wouldn't put the movie on.
Sigh... Feed baby cereal (isn't it nice, she's starting to eat solids :-). Did I mention she loves to sneeze right after you put that first spoonful in her mouth. Finish with her meal, change her clothes cause she's wearing most of what she supposedly ate... Oldest is crying in his room and asks you to come out. Have a small chat with him to explain why it isn't nice to hit people. Baby cries, she's exhausted. Put baby down for a nap. Oh finally! It's 9 am......... Please don't tell me I have another 12 hours of this? Seriously? Put a smile on and go wash and make bottles for the day and make lunch for the oldest.
You finally change out of your pejays when you have both kids buckled in the car (ready to bring the oldest one to nursery school). Isn't it great when your kid's teacher tells you « you look tired »?
I can go on about how chaotic the rest of the day is but I'm sure you get the big picture. It's non stop!
By the time hubby gets home, you look like you got run over by a dump truck. He comes in strolling and your jealous because he had 45 mins to himself alone in the car with his personal thoughts and radio... « So tonight, what do you say if I pop us a little bottle of bubbly? ;-) » wink wink. Nudge nudge.... Are you for real? I have laundry and vomit to clean up by the back door from YOUR dog from earlier in the day.
When does a woman find « me time » in there?
By the time my « me time » comes around I'm snoring in bed.... That's my « me time ».
All this to say that I obviously wouldn't trade any of this chaos for any amount of money in the world, if you told me that my kids wouldn't be part of my life (or hubby ;-). I think it's important to make time for « me time » NO MATTER WHAT! It's the only way to stay sane. Cause God forbid, if you made hubby do your overtime not paid full time job, he would schedule himself a pedicure and manicure... after 2 hours :-)
I think the lack of « me time » is a huge contributor to how severe the symptoms of post postpartum depression are. After spending a full week alone (hubby being gone on business) I get a lot more emotional, exhausted and overwhelmed. That creates a huge problem when hubby does come home cause time we could be catching up on how we missed each other, is spent on me hyperventilating and having a melt down. Gosh, I really do envy him, being able to have alone time on a plane or in a hotel room... how nice that would be!
Mission #1: Find « me time » at least once a week for a period of 4 hours or more.
I know it seems like a lot, but damn it! I deserve it! Because I matter. We all matter.
This is real. This is mommy-hood. And a lot of people do not understand it. In a few days, you'll read this and probably get a kick from it, it's kind of funny in a sense that I know EXACTLY how this day rolls. ALL-THE-TIME. It's not fun, it is extremely tiresome, and frustrating.
ReplyDeleteIf you're having hard times finding a little bit of "me" time in a day, or the week, start small. So you have 4 hours per week, that averages about 30 minutes a day. Take that time to paint your nails, watch a TV show with popcorn, go for a drive. Sit in your car listening to the radio. Lay in bed and read... Anything is possible in those 30 minutes because they're YOURS!